what is it that i want 1

I ask myself what is it that i want
and i realise i do not know
but more importantly I know
what i DONT
want

and i think to myself
this is what i thought i wanted for so long
and when i saw it in front of me
i realised i felt nauseated with such existence
i realised this is not my existence
i realised this is not what i want
i realised i felt shallow
and superficial
and there was more to me
than what i ever thought


there is more to me than what i ever thought
anad i thought what is right?
what is wrong

wont my ears and eyes know
how come i dont know

I thought

this is wrong
and what makes me feel right is my faith
and my strength comes from within
and my memories
are all strong if faith is involved

but hten i tihnk
i know i want love
but i only know the iceberg
i only know the tip
and ii dont know anything at all


I dont know anything at all

and then i tihnk

maybe that is ok
in fact this is what i want
not to know anything at all