Friday, April 27, 2012

new paragraph 2

unable to wake at5 and see the view
and taste the air
i fall aslep in the damned of weakness
and yet i insist to make myself a new paragraph
to write a new paragraph
for happinness can be rewritten
and can always be created
through the heart and soulful mind
i think to myself i wish i was sitting in that picture
wonderign about lifeand love drama and sense , what i really want and what i really need
how far away am i and how near am i
how beautiful am i and how strong am i
and can it all be healed
i think
who would be with me
that is left unanswered but i know
i know
that it wil lbe someone who also wants to
rewrite happinnes
and who feels amzing when with me
and who wants to be with me
and who loves me
drastically unchanged
and yet similarly different
I listen to a radio station miles and miles away to feel close
the world is strange
and i feel even stranger
bbut i am happy
and i promise myself that i will write my paragraph
opening middle and end
 that way i want to write
the words that i want to use
the style i want it to be in

 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -