I feel frustrated

I feel frustrated
that all i have is these doubts
when i dont want them or need them
but they come to me
and i cannot give them up

i feel frustrated that what i want and what i do are two totally different thing
tihnking like a queen acting like a beggar
dreaming proud, living under a dark cloud
feeling vast love , for the one above
and yet unable to show him how i feel
because priorities take over
and make me slower
and leave me lower

I feel frustrated that i have so much
and yet i feel so little
becasue faith is not in my arms
weakness is


I feel frustrated that time is contolling me not i it
that love is sanctioning me rather than freein me
that power is demanding rather than liberating
and that lies are winning rather than the truth living

I feel frustrated that i knw inside me i have so much more to give
and live for
and I know that i want so much more
but its like im not aboard
like ive been thrown over
by accident or delibrate
doesnt matter
what matters is the ship
is sailing forwards and
i am behind drowning