Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I never usually 2



Who else can know that better than me?


Everytime I saw you,


My heart was going to rip out of my chest


She smiles, closes her eyes for jsut a second


He watches as his mind and eyes burns for her words


Why are you making me say these things?


Tell me again


How was your heart beating?


She takes his hand and gently puts it on her heart, staring into his glistening eyes,


Like this


He hears the beating of her beautiful heart, his fingers caressing her skin, his eyes wanting her more


He takes her hand and puts it over his heart


Like this


His heart beats fast, quick, strong




I never usually get these feelings
I never usually can say these things
freely and adamantly
I never usually burn so bad
Love so easy
Feel so desired
I never usually never pretend
I never usually think like this
eat like this, breathe like this,
I never usually live like this

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -