Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I forgot


Day 3 and a half
I forgot to eat , I forgot to be sympathetic, and sympatique to my life
Drink tea... in the cavities of evolution
they watched the sunset together, glowing with a new lusting memoir
to be created --- sings in the fillings of my heart
their beat creates my intentions
I forgot to think except from their passion, their eyes, their love
I FORgot TO break the link between the day here and the night there
the stars over my satellite and all my mistakes blocking my view
Here, I think about my wishes, other peoples wishes
and most importantly all their gaps in the future coming from the past
when will they learn
when will they change
when will i learn
when will i change
he tells me to do what i should have done a long time back
very easily, very happily, very nicely
yet, I concentrate on listening to his words
not affecting me
or rather... blackening out as I awaken through the magnificence of my dreams
opening decay,
numbing minds
killing nerves

\----------
\i know its easy , one day it will be easy
one day they will all finish
as I will be finished
because it will be easy
I re assure you
you will find it easy

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -