Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I cant write anymore


I cant write anymore

I have no story

I have no sense...or nonsense

I have no miracles

to let me flood words

I cant write anymore

the laanguage of time

or the metaphores of crime

about my love,

about his love

and my love

that climbs flavors of the skies

about my dreams

the ones that scream

for me to make them come true

out of the blue

I cant write anymore

about myself, my family, my life

about my body, my image , my creations of imaginated limes of bitter fury

about my anger or pain

everything is melted in todays rain

of a hundred years

about the streets that shine mirrors

or the trains that take me into zones

or the planes that lift me into the wafers of the clouds

and hold me into cushioned tears

about anything or anyone

I

cant

write

any

more

about

you

about me

about what I want to do

and why I cant do it

and how it makes me feel mad and bad

and stupid
my sympathy that is fattening and saddening

and tiring to take everyday

why this has to stop and that has to start

and this has to begin and that has to end
what I should defend

or mend so that my soul may once more pick up the diamond coal pieces

my species of emotion

I cant write anymore about them

my crude raw feelings that once used to glitter like emeralds cut outs of my heart

and light my life

I can only try contain them now

so they dont consume me

inside out
silently
without writing anymore

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

totally my style
absolutely amazing
:)

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -