Monday, November 5, 2007

needing








You’re writing for me words in my life that run straight to my heart
A memory so strong of you is what you’ve let start
A time in such need for you is what you’ve let begin
A love so deep for you, in me is what has poured in

Why is my aching soul, needing you so
Why were my once darkened feelings, now beginning to glow?
When they should be lost and never again show
I can’t understand why you’re making me so

Why is my heart calming from you
Why are my thoughts, believing in you and goodness so new
Why are you letting me believe again, that love is true?
That I can only live if I am with you

Ever since you came I cannot stop dreaming
About you and your ways, it’s as important as breathing
I want to overstand everything you are, all that you do
I want to understand all that you are because I love you
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -