Thursday, November 1, 2007

Truth from lies 2

''The Truth from lies stories are about Love that is undiscovered, strong and True, Yet hidden, hidden with fears, given with Lies and unknown.''

If I lose you now, that is lose my soul
If I lose my wings, and take this fall
A lifeless nothing I would be
If I lose you, the breath of me
If I lose you to time, a time of my senseless crime
My life would be meaningless gone with time
In the darkest shadows my heart would suffocate
My mind, my soul they all would terminate
My life without your forgiveness would be a life of sorrow
If I lose you from in front of my eyes
Eyes that would only see lies
You are my only love
If I lose you, my star above
Without you shining, blackness would kill
Through the emptiness that can never be filled
Just space left to deteriorate
Because I can't stop wondering how you and I - fate
Were left open at the gate
Where broken too late
Where everything in me would be
Shattered in me
Forgive me, the other part of me
Because I need you
Too much to say
Too much to convey
And I only pray
That you hear the teardrops of my heart.

She read the lines that ran straight to her heart, a memory of love and a discovery of it. People needing each other and asking for forgiveness. It must be wonderful. She sighed, Giving in to the navy deep sky, twinkling in the night, each star meaning something, every star tellling a story. She was so close to all of them, she could touch the dream with her hand; what it's like to fall in love.
'I wonder what this guy is asking her to forgive - I wonder will she accept him being sorry, is he true of his word?'

Are they meant to be together?
Do feelings like that last forever.

She drank her coffee and giggled,
'it's about me?' - she asked.
He pulled over a chair and sat roughly on it - 'Yeah baby if I lose you, I don't know what I would do'.

'But its the first time you ever wrote something for me'

'I know but something tells me I'll be writing a lot more for you - you make me want to write - you make me want to say I'm sorry a million times'

She sipped another sip and looked at him with her hazel eyes - her hair fell to her shoulders and she pushed it gently back -

'but you promised you would come and when you didn't my friends made a fool out of me - you can't promise and break your promise!'

'I know I know - look I'll make it up to you I promise!!! how about we get out of this stinky place and go see a movie and then have dinner.'

He was leaning closer and closer and it made her heart melt - he knew what this time needed next - as he leaned in to finally kiss her she had forgotten all that had upset her - she had forgotten it all -

They were the king and queen of love now
Holding it like their throne

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -