Saturday, November 10, 2007

Besides here




Don’t know much about your life
But I know that you are just right
Don’t know much about your world
But I know that I trust your words
We don’t know about the past
But we know this is going to last
Jumping of the edge
A solid ground below
But with you, I know my heart can glow
Never fall, just flow
In a sky that is besides here
In a place that has no fear
Taking chances
I want to start with you
Taking chances
I always fall in love with you

In a dream, I commit to magnificence
And breathe in significance
Of taking chances
But not - here

Here


Out in the highway of betrayal
And a corner shop that sells hurt
I hear the ticking of disaster
I hear the existence of never after
I never hear what I want to hear
I can never see what I want to see
What I want to feel
I only feel pain
I only see betrayal
And I only know to dream of something-
Besides here


What you call tragedy
Is just another day to me
This time is the last time
This nightmare is not fair
You break me and as I bleed
You never say you’re sorry
The last thread has come undone
To reveal what I’ve become
A victim of poisoned love
Afraid for too long
Afraid but now it’s gone
I’m taking back
All you took from me
Here


Besides here
My heart is a melody
That I want to sing to you
Please be the soldier that I dream of
The soldier I so dearly love
The kindness in my world
And don’t change into something that isn’t you
This music in my head
So before I can forget
I never want you to regret -
Thinking to protect me
I never want you to get
Into something that cannot be
I couldn’t live
I couldn’t live without your love
For one kiss
Well I’d give everything up
There are no words that can describe
What I feel deep inside
So I let this song say it all
Singing it on paper
Singing it forever
Before the wind blows it away
Because I cannot stay
Somewhere
Besides here
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -