Monday, November 26, 2007

Random tragedy

A love forbidden
Its chance overridden
A speed accident of fate
All my ideas are too late

To try and convince you of something important
But am I convincing myself of all this and its wrong?
Mutated feelings and emotions dispersed to infect me?
Because I feel sick thinking of you so much

Do I believe too much?
That there is a hidden star in you
Not knowing what to do
What am I supposed to imagine
Until the memories in me die of famine
In the coast of broken down hope

I wish I could change to maybe change you
But dreaming is the virus in my soul
I can't find the cure so to you I fall

Deep in the depths of a creation of a story I write on the sky,
wanting it to fly and show you the end
I want to send everything in me
But u cannot see
That I don’t want to be without you
And I try so hard to find you

But its better this way
Not having you near
It would be too hard
So I'll just say -
I like writing about broken down love

And it’s not true
That I’m in love with you

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -