Thursday, November 1, 2007

Too late

Too late except to say goodbye
Too late to touch your face
Too late to hear you heart race
Too late for your love
Too late for your anything

Your smile, your words, your safety
Too late except in fantasy
Too late to see you by my side walk
Too late to have you with me talk
About your dreams, your wishes, your days
Too late by a whispering soul

So far away across…land…and oceans…and mountains…forever

Too late for you
Too late for me
I cry as I watch you fly
Even out of my dreams you go
Too late to tell you how I miss you so
Too late to see you turn to stay
Too late for your touch
Vanilla, cinnamon, tender & musk
Too late for beauty
Too late for your company
Too late to have you in my world
Too late to live with you
Too late to stand by you
Too late for your best thing
Too late in my life

Like a plane I missed
A train I couldn’t catch
Too late for your rainbow
Too late except for sorrow
Too late for you to understand
Even though it was so simply held between my hands

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -