Monday, May 28, 2012

what makes me

what makes me cry
what makes me smile
what makes me wake
what do I stake
to feel...happy

what makes me change
what makes me arrange
all the particles of my hearrt
to eat right
and never fight
for whats wrong

what makes me dream
and what makes me seem
real

what makes me scared
and what makes me bare
to the soul of tired war

what makes me free
what makes me me
what makes me become
the woman i want to be

what makes me hope
i just wana cope
with all that i wana make true
with you
what makes me forget

what makes me remember
what makes me remember

what makes me never surrender

so 4rth and I feel wonderful
how many times have i tried to
a million or really when you think about it

none
ive never tried

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -