jealous to be better

I know  Iam at fault just like with everything
but sometimes I canot help but think its not fair
I
am a good person
stubborn and a little mena
but i am a good person
and ive always been more kinder
its just sometimes i cant help being angry being annoyed wanting change
wanting a better understanding from you from them
and sometimes i think all i want is to be better
ya Rab i want to be btter
i want
not to be at fault al lthe time
suddenly i feel second
but then ive always been in second place right?
i feel awful
dow n
that i am the cause of this downess
i should be better because i have a better heart
but i have no idea how to show it to you
i wish you couuld see it
that girl dreaming in the picture with satin dantelle and flowers of crystal beads
so soft so elegant
so clean
so pure
so yours
so true
the dream i can barely touch it tho
i wish i could touch that dream like i can touch my tears
i wish i could show you my love my desires
my fears
why i am like this why i am not like that
i wish that i wasnt invisible
misunderstood
weak
all the time
i wish i could show
you
  and then maybeyou would change your mind
abotu the way i think
and the way  i look
and things would be alright and right

forever