Sunday, May 29, 2011

Dear God..I pray.....that you say...forgiven

Dear God
I pray
that I stay
in love with only your success
for If it is not meant to be
then it is not your success

Dear God
I pray that I may
love you unconditionally
no conditions
just love

dear God
I Pray that I stray
from anger and sorrow
and I come to you
peace and a brighter tommorrow

Dear God
I Pray
for my way
at the right time
with the right people

Dear God
near or far away
I am with you
I'm sorry I shouted
I'm sorry I demanded
I'm sorry I reprimanded
I'm sorry I rebelled

I'm so sorry
and that makes me feel so sad
I find it hard to forgive myself
but I know you canforgive me..........

Dear God
I pray
that I see away
from darkness and closed minds
that I open good things and happy doors

Dear God
I pray
that there is never a day
I forget you
or in that same day I realise my deep mistakes
and go about fixing them

Dear God
I pray
that there is neve ra day
mywords are silly
or my actions are messy
or my thoughts are dirty
or my products are unworthy

Dear God
I Pray
that I never lay
restless
without cause
without battle
without love
without forgiveness
without heavens dream and no other

Dear God
I pray
that light rays
shine on me
heal me
strengthen me
enlighten me
forgive me

Dear God
forgive me
I beg you
Forgive me..........

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -