Tuesday, June 14, 2011

En Route to......Discovery


en route to discovery
I pass the oceans to find a new eternity
for my lost soul and hidden mystery
reaching a land that I thought was an impossibility
God gave me permission to discover a new destiny
without loss without cause without agony
I found myself distillid from questionability
I found myself strong among hypocrocy
I may have come bitter in the journey
but God knows my heart is golden from fury

en route to discovery
I come back with treasures and a new rhapsody
I come back intoxicated with my unimaginabe prosperities
and my hidden sensualities
and my untold stories



i come back whole
and i smile writing that sentence

I come back whole
for I replaced my heart with a new start
and I realised what I am living for is not in store....
it is now...it is today
and yesterday - is forgotten

en route to happiness
I crossed the lands and the oceans to come to a new place
I was insensible throughout
but good judgement comes with perserverence
passing comes with fialing
I will pass
I will succeed
I will awake all my queit body and mind
and I now  I will find
.....a NEw Hope

(to be continued)

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -