Friday, May 13, 2011

Subhan Allah.....

Subhan allah
everything happens for a reason
so there is no reason to doubt
That God is beautiful
words cannot describe
the feeling of comfort I get
when I understand a fulfilled reason
when I understand the truth behind the falling curtain
like butterflies my stomach reels with flying high
I feel involved in the most uppermost sphere of love and care
God has taken care of me
in a small way , in a large way
in a different unknown way
I dont know how I don't know why
Its happened
the strength
the imagination
the creativity
the destruction of walls to get me through
the breaking of boundaries to pass me inside
a new world of  wonder
a new world of emotional upkeep
suddenly
suddenly
I am a new person
because of
Subhan Allah
Gods willpower
becoming a part of me

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -