Thursday, September 20, 2007

Echoes in my mind ( Stay)

Bewildered through your eyes
Warmth melts from behind their memories
Whatever they hold, blending in me like a remedy
Soothing my sharp wounds from knives tempered to my heart
But spearing out- are the reasons why we were always apart

''Since you flew to reach my footsteps and walk away from my beat
I tried to let you listen to my feelings
Time and time again -each wavelength dying out through the midnight of your shooting star rejection
I tried to show you how protected my heart rested when it saw you
Time and time again -you hampered its safety turning its sweet energy to a lifeless cry''

You never broke my fall of hurt
You never dried one tear of pain......

Those became puddles of flooding rain
Rain that spilled hearing the thunder of a future without you.

Bewildered by my mistake to still love you
Falling in the shadows of gripping reminiscence
Waiting for you to always give blinding evidence
That I could only care about you
Yet can never see using your love

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -