a body so heavy
so not ready
for life
and yet
i try
to cycle again...
find a purpose
find a strength and a reason to believe
I am worthwhile
so easy
i almost deny it
but i ask myself why?
Ya Allah its only to help me
I feel so proud , so confident, so proud, so important
and yet my body fails me
a body in a state of shock, left running all the time, without a break, without understanding, a body going right and I going left
a body weak, getting weaker and heavier
and i am the loser
dont even know who i am anmore
and now
it is up to me
now
my faults will touch others
she says
sure i dont want to do it until im in trouble
i get mad
i get angry
sense would say you must do it if you need it
and then i shut up and think of myself
for I needed to do this a long time ago and never done it
so whos the one at fault but me
ironic and mean
only looking at others mistakes
aaaaaaaakkkkkkk
that egyptian one
the one where the voice seperates from the insides to mean something in pain
that woman screaming or crying or in denial or anything
that sigh
the one from deep inside where it hurts
where i cant touch anymore
where i dont want to look anymore
Ya Allah you gave and i promised and I will keep to that promise
Project Bed - 1 August (to be continued)
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