Saturday, July 19, 2014

help me -- Ya Allah

never weak, never wrong
and if I am let me be regretful and charmed by the world of understanding
for the last thing i want is to be a bulldozer of incorrect fate
just passing by
it could be like this
it could be like that
its fine
that will do
when its not

Ya Allah
I ask your help
your kindness
your beautiful intentions
for mine are all wrong
however i will try to hold them and change them
and make them
to Ramadans satisfaction

Ya Allah , please dont let me forget thesed ays
their importance
their kindness
their wishes
their hopes
their loves
please help me

Please help me fall in love with
with you Ya Allah
with my deen
with my strengths and
with my challenges
for I need to survive better than all

Ya Allah
help me
be the one you love
the one forgive
for i so badly need your assistance
and i dont want to be alone
in this world without you

Ya Allah
help me
Ya Allah

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -