Saturday, January 5, 2013

A prayer for prayer

I pray , I pray for you young girl
to wake up and be healthy again
for I couldnt stand losing you
or even a part of you and then
and then ...what would you feel when you woke up
without the most important part of you as a woman
imagining you were so close and then lost it all
 Iwould die for you a million times
I would scream in pain more than you
i would fail to survive
I pray I pray for you young girl
I pray you are healthy and alive
I pray you have many children more
I pray you are happy and strong
I pray you dont die
thats living but dying each and every day more and more inside
I pray you are ok
for whatever happens to you will make me or break me
I pray you are fine
and I pray you have a child that you call mine
I pray you never lose your one year beginning
and I pray your half is your completeness
I pray he stands by you and that he is your all
 I hope you get up
I pray I pray for you young girl
I pray for you .....

Ya Rab help her ...........after all her name is a prayer
and I pray a million prayers for her
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -