Wednesday, January 5, 2011

2011.... Beauty Beginnings




2011.....

Is to find
the perfect beauty colour
the perfect success colour
The perfect faith colour
the perfect elegance colour

The colours awaiting me lie through

Pending achievement





Awaiting transformation





Expecting Love



The colours that I want to erase




Dominishing Pain





Leaving Years lost in vain






Hoping for freedom





Asking for Everything





Not Praying for that Everything

No, Not anymore, The colours have to flood through my body now






Praying for all the things I desire








Walking away from before


Running from fear war


Flying from chains





Becoming internally funded


heartfully mended


patiently sended


fashionably trended


with happiness


and forgiveness





Beauty I understand in this new year can only come if you have no black blood running in you


if you have no black shadows sparkling from your eyes
scratching your fingertips
beauty can never show from darkness
no
all the lights have to be turned on

Beauty can only show if it is real within you and true inside you
and lit







To be continued........

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -