Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Disposable nightmares




I wonder -

How much you can love

what does love mean to you?

How much can you save and how much do you need to waste..

before it dies

I wonder how to go back to the beginning

how to go back to the start

and never part

just like in a wedding picture

I wonder how things change

day by day until they reach severity

and become a disposable nightmare

you break me

and weaken me

until

no more can I be in that picure

until all I see is a new picture

a new nightmare

a heartbreaking disaster

of tears

more and more everyday

until her hands ache and tears run dry

until the beauty in her dies and the memories within her shrivel

for she has been abused and torn and broken
Not the same picture anymore

now what does the future have in store?

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -