Wednesday, March 16, 2016

work writings_ pits and falls

asking about love
asking about needs
needing love
and needing needs
I ask you Allah that i look to me and that you take care of me
over the skies and under the moon
that you look upon me inside and out and outside and in
judge my sanity and close my wrong doings
break my fall
and dont leave me out to the wolves
Ya Allah
I need your help
in need and in desire
in anguish and in pain
in honesty and in passion
i need your love , i need your help
i need to wish and see
i need to ask and dream
i need to get bigger and bigger
i need to get smaller in wrongs
in mad mistakes
ya Allah be there for me
help me and save me
and surround me with
your excellency and treatment
for you are royal than royal
and happier than anything
i wish that you give me the seed of that happiness and i will water it and look after it
please look over me
please change all of me
please have me with my flaws and failures
please write me into your goodness
please i ask you for your kindness and what i dont have
ya Allah i ask you for what i dont have
for i am a selfish slave
but i could never be selfish other than with you
for i know you can only give and never take
and i know you can only love and never hate

Ya Allah
I am here

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -