When u understand

Wow

Yesterday was a huge shock

An insight into myself and my lack of incapabilities

My lack of anything

For i felt more inferior than my own land

So i cried

Remembering how mean i was

And how shallow iwas

And how tough i was

Balancing my thoughts on something completely wrong

Thinking i was up against someone 

Thinking i was up against the wrong

Thinking i was right all the time

Thinking i had the right to do all that

Thinking thinking thinking and yet i was thinkkng completely wrong

For the truth was i was not thinking

I was not fighting i was not understanding

I was evil

And i was worse than what i thought i was bad

My mind froze When i heard the news

And i was just as sad as when they said other bad news to me

Because i felt shattered amd heartbroken at how awful id been

Amd there was no way to fix it

There was no way to be kind

I was sad and sad and then more sad

And i felt i didnt deserve a thing

Didnt deserve a thing

To be continued...