Tuesday, September 1, 2015

September wishes...

this time
im not gona breakdown
am not gona give up
or lose hope
in fact
im gonna start again
im gonna tackle my pain and thank Allah I am better than who i was yesterday than who i am today
i will beat my faults and I will lower my weaknesses until my strengths are the only thing i can see
i will beat my body up until it stands tall
and proud
and i will not give up
i will not give up
in the easiest and most painful times i am like the tortoise with the rabbit
i will win a race the race whatever race
for i will not stop trying to get there
the place i want to reach
the place i want to go

and i will not stop praying
i will not give up on Allah, on myself and on good luck and faith
ya RAB, Ya Allah
help me

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -