my head hurts and mind wavers and wanders into emptiness
I feel tired
not like I normally aim
I feel aimless goalless
just plain tired
I feel like for once Ill never get this job
I feel pointless
I even feel big without meaning
just a heavy block of somebody walking and I just hate everyone around me
i even hate myself
i want to shout
I want to scream
im tired
and im afraid
but more importantly am angry
but its all weakness
for my anger hasnt produced anything
im still the big empty womanless, jobless woman i am
and i feel like everyone is taking advantage of me
for that was a secretarys job
not mine
but hey it doesnt matter
and I want to do things but i never do
so someone has to tell me to do them
someone has to make me do them
like a child i guess
for im just like a child
lets do this and lets do that and lets bring this and lets bring that
for i cant think for myself
at this moment in time
im tired
im very tired
and i hate myself for having it all and not feeling any of it
in this moment in time
lost and must control\?
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