Monday, May 27, 2013

May Life... never pass me by

When life passes you by
then you should cry
that you didnt do anything about it
but if you ride or die to never give up
and to push yourself through everything
and let nothing bring you down
or let no one fear you
for fear is only from God
then your life will mean something
and you will say that you could feel everything
in your heart and mind and soul
burning through the seconds
the minutes the hours
the days the years
and the one life
that you should never let pass you by
it should be caught
savored and tasted
it should be hugged
and it should be observed in detail
you should not let anything PASS
you by

for what passes cannot be returned
and life is only once
so think how many parts of your life have passed 
without attention 
without detail
without life itself in life
how many moments in life have passed meaningless 
or powerless or filled with devotion to other lives
rather than your own
and then 
when its all over and 
the calculator comes
you will see that 
you really lived so little of your life
sooooo little
it will be like maybe 
you only really lived 3 or 5 or 6 years 
the rest was not worth counting


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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -