Wednesday, February 15, 2012

simple poem about the love I search

it's true I am looking for love
its funny how when im given it even a little
I hate it
its totally the wrong person
it repulses me
and yet secretly I ask for love
I beg for Gods love
and I beg for my own
and I beg for the handsome soldier how I am yet unprepared for


I can never find love in any song
I can never find love in any story
not the way I wany
always always there is something missing
there is something broken
something that I want to add
and if I dont control it
it grows and grows and grows
until I lose

crack the viscious cycle
stop the untitled mess
lose the viscious fury
of a useless stress
think of a new way
think of a newd ay
where you dance
where you invent
where you become 'hoyija'
no where you become the hope you always wanted

 hey little secret dont say a word
im looking for the man who loves his lord
the one who understands all I mean
the one who shares with me this beautfiiul deen
 the one who loves me for who I am
young, sexy, faithful and sharing his plan
of life, love, honesty and lust
I am looking for a man that i can trust
minor details i cannot draw
but how he makes me feel glows and glows
back and back to true good love
I dont want to share him with the one above
no i want him to love god everyway he can
and then love me in his religious plan
yes I want to be his precious wife
who he madly loves all his life
but I also want to be my own woman
one who lives and dies for God as a faithful human
one who depends on quran and family alone
and is never alone
is always strong
confident and rarely wrong
not proud or arrogant
just beautiful



yes I miss beautiful poetry

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -