I don't want you

Hold on......I don't need this
your sympathy and your lies
he looks down upon me from the skies
broken hearted but able to depend on a million other beautiful people....and then some

I don't need to see this or know about this
I dont want your lies
they collectively dont mean anything to me
I dont want your weakness
There are stronger people than you
stronger better cleaner
I dont want to even look at you
you smell of evil thoughts
you look of dirt under
you feel of criminal ties
you hae a wicked glance over you
tormenting you?
No its tormenting me but all I do is forget you like you forgot me
all I do is throw you like youve thrown me
all I do is empower others that have empowered me and have empowered themselves through me


I tried....I tried to help you save you show you
but you still embarrass yourself time and time agin
fail to see
fail to be
fail to stop yourself
or start yourself the right way
I tried to give you
I did give you
but you wanted more
or....
you are never happy with what I give you
everyday I showed you your strengths I showed you that you could be better than yourself now and that you are better than others but you didnt listen
you continously pulled yourself to  ground level, below the ground lever the basement
I gave you aid
I gave you mercy
I gave you forgiveness
but you dont deserve those things

I wonder if I had never given you all this --- would you have been better/ maybe....
I wonder if  i did show you the end? would you change
you always keeep wishing you knew
and anyhting that you can know you try and find out
so If I  showed you told you
this is whats going to happen to you
......
 the ending, the end,
isnt everything in betweeen then just a way of getting there/
?
when you skip episodes in series to see the end and you see the end
suddenly dont all the episods in between become useless boring
you never go back to finish them
youve seen the end
even if you dont understand how it got htere
youve seen it
 you know it


this is the same
you know the end
you die in the middle
I didnt want you die now
but you insist to kill yourself everyday
i didnt want you to be so unhappy
to be so ugly
from within
i created you
I loved creating you
I loved allowing you faith
I made you special rich powerful because i gave you the best thing in this world
the best hting
the thing money cannot buy but it is more expensive than
i gave you faith
I could have left you cold
have left you
just left you
rot like all these people you are seeing rot
but I gave you the best thing in this world
they key to greatness
the way to love
true love
not the crap you think is love
youve never touched love
youve never seen love
you dont deserve love


I dont want your sympathy
you think this cycle can continue forever
how can you be the one
number one
.....no never
you always saw yourself the best...smart...... clever...intelligent......bright
isnt that what they always said/?.......
but you are not number one
you are not number two
you are not number 3
you are number way top on the scale of lost souls
ones trapped in their own being their own fantasies their own existence
creating a very small place of pleasure thinking this is the paradise
worshipping the madness of their own rules
obeying rituals growing each and every moment until growth becomes murderous
harvesting nothing for tommorrow....no its just todays idol
crude rawness divine it plays with your desire
a soul trapped in its own volcano of lust
a soul lost within spaces of infinity
you can never get out
you are one of the lost
you have not been taken hostage for someone to find you
you have given yourself to them
and so you have given consent
you have lost your soul
you have sold your soul
you have given your soul
and thus i can never find it
...............................