Sunday, July 31, 2011

The way I see life..........today

The eye is the open door to the soul
the masterpiece the mind sets out to radar life
the feeling of the heart
the eye is the spy to the body
watching life
detecting symbols of time
learning words
infiltrating vision to melody to actions to words
the eye is the sight if history
the reason for being
the appreciation of time
the eye is the art of love
the happinness to survive

Just close your eyes for 5 minutes ....
and imagine your life blind.......
its dark its very dark
and suddenly the v simple things start to look like miracles
like typing
like touching your mobil to call someone
like flicking the remote
like.....being happy
being happy suddenly looks real


i have been living my life delibrately blind
intending to bring myself down
staring at the hole where my eye should be
I may as well have been blind
because I cannot see anything
I cannot see the goodness inside me
the beauty within me or around me
when I look at myself in a picture
I think.....  do look good
but when I take myeyes to a mirror
all I see is ..... pain

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -