Monday, July 25, 2011

where am I ?


I have a lot to say
seeing the Mona lisa in real life
is a wild life
feeling thrown back into the world of history while today I am here
seeing
something out of a lovers madness
a true episode of love
I look for the intensity of her eyes
the drama in her simplicity
the elegance in her silence
the beauty in her body
the attraction in the wilderness
the love in her story
the fantasy in her soul
the words in her lips
the curves of her liips
the eternity in her heart
the mystery in her mind
the mystery of her life
the existence of her memory
forever
and here I am
today now
watching her thinking of her
and me
me
can I see anything in me
that is worth remebering
that is worth drawing?
that is worth imagining ?
t hat is worth loving
that is worth forver being?
I stand and stand wondering about my own existence
about my own.....Picture
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -