untitled writing animation_sinking ship

I missed how i used to be
I tried to imagine it but I cannot see

I miss the way I used to think
or is it the way I did not sink

I forget the way I used to heal
I no longer know how i used to feel

I once thought I knew it all
now I only know how to fall

I once used to love poetry
now it doesnt mean the same to me

I once used to write for me
now I write for misery
occupied by the wast bank of desires and criminal affairs
I testify to the words that soar through myheart and race out to the world of my pain
nothing can make me write the way I used to for stealing the commodity of my goods he took all my passion and ate it
he took all my whispers and screamed into my ear
suddenly I felt spinning i felt useless I felt in the middle of a war
I did not start but certainly up blend with my every senseless sense of time
a war unintentional but true
a war of travels and no sanction
for nowhere is safe
i run he chases
I stop he defeats me
I try and forget he forces me to remember
I tr and SCREAM
no one can hear
NO ONE CAN HEAR MMEEEEEEE
no one
I want to animate my feelings as fast as possible but they are the fast and the furious of film
i want to write them down before they get lost
I want to use them before i Get old
for I have so many so many unused emotions
he
he is the enemy
he is the meaning of my loss
he is not someone but eveything
he is not a person
buta vanity and insanity
I fail to discover yet know is there
travelling beating me down
taking me offshore
forcing me off the road
while he the world drives
while he the time strives
to find love amidst crossroads
hidden and ridden with danger
with anger
with loss
with what he feels
I can only imagine what he feels
and I can only speed my words up before I forget what he feels
he feels passion for someone new
he feels like he is clever
maybe he is
the he of the broken streets
the he of the best car
the he of the past time
the he of money
the he of body sexual fantasies
nothing is off he
nothing is lost he
everything is maddening he
you see
everything is maddening until i spin
everything is bothering until I cry
I cry so much there are no more tears
just swolllen eyes
I cry so much my muscles hurt
I want to edit
but why should I
am I wrong/
no
am I right?
no either
am i off?
no way
Am i an investigator
?
percieved connotations of a detectives future
i detect we are falling
I detect we are commiserating
i detect we are breaking
I detect our past will not hold for long
it's like the bolts of a sinking ship
bolts dont get destroyed by water yes they rust

but they do not untwist
they do not come apart
a ship sinks as a whole
we are sinking as a whole
the whole family
as one
whole ship
under water....................
as
ONE