as i left at breaking sunrise_ the new day of a new fast in the last days of RamadanI saw this girl
this woman
everyone was sitting near the front pushing to get nearer
every woman was trying to find a better space
ones getting chairs, ones getting qurans
ones filling every space
yet this girl
she found the last pillar in the last part of the mosque just near the door
and she was kneeling down wearing her black veil
sacred
and she had her hands up so gently
was was invisible really
she was silent
only her lips were moving
everything else in her was frozen in that portrait in time i will never forget
she didnt worry about space about time
about voices
about heat
about position
affirmation that she was there
on her face
there was no worry
there was just lips moving
I tried to imagine what she could be asking for
like every other girl?
or maybe a special problem
which is still like every other girl
she made me feel Islam was so special and unique to her in a way I could never imagine
she made me feel she was flying so high
she made me nearly see how in love she was with her faith
she made me feel instantly that God sees everyone That God
loves mercy and purity and innocence and faith and that every indication alove in my being knew she was being heard and answered
she made me feel happy being there
with her in almadina
she made me feel ablend with my new soul the one I had spent the last few days remaking and weaving to become mine again
to become clean again
she made me feel i knew what my soul now looked like
she was a girl that I will never know who she was
I dont know her
i dont even really remember the details of her face
but its like shes encrypted on my heart
its like the way she was praying and her humble attitude is my model
I want to look the way she felt
I want to feel the way she looked
I want to be in a position where i am completely and utterly out of this world and simply in another
i want to be on the edge of that path of light even if I am not in the city of light and have so much strength and purity within me the light reaches to the city of light and above
for the relationship between me and god is pure
is alive
is true
is ever so clean
is full of trust
is unbreakable
is...... unbreakable
but that is not the way my relationship with god is............is it?
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