Sunday, March 6, 2011

midnight dreams of a sleepless soul_open door


Late, blend my fate
into a miracle of inspired midnight dreams and suspended awakenings
Whatever I say - let me stay
for my heart whispers _ battlefield into the night - I just want to fight
the war to find you
blissful tunes rumble in my head - along my soul they tread
it's like a new chapter in my life
but I've always wanted to become your wife
you
this unintentional drawing Ive created under the fingertips of my dreams
you this handsome creation of inspired salvation
i dream of you everyday and everynight
I pray for you all the time
I smile
I think of you you face
dotted with mystery
and your name still not in my history
but your future
your future
I hold
I hold whenever I'm alone with you
you make me feel like I'm home again
however far away
I will always love you
my calm emotions will rupture into the wilderness just for you to see a trickle
my queit fears will explode into the galaxy just so I can shine for you
I want to shine for you
I hope I can be free for you
simple melodies twist my mind and capture my ride
dictate everlasting destiny
my destiny is to be with you
like clean water
like soft sand
like soldiers under command
like volcanoes erupting
however long I stay
whenever I pray
and to whatever music I sway

creative imagery
against the caress of this moment
I close my eyes and see you in disguise
behind a ticking time
or a rythmical crime
but I know you will be internally mine
and fully honest
and perfectly insane
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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -