Saturday, August 2, 2014

finding peace 1

the last  thing  I did in Sudan, Khartoum
the waft of the aroma of love peacefully comes to my mind
and as I fly,,, through skies,,, through mountains,,, through airports
one thing is on my mind

how hes such a part of me and I am a part of him
for I look at my body and think that an arm is missing or a heart

I am not whole but I am ..... sound

for my love for him makes me survive, makes me stronger, makes me happier
makes me want to make him proud

planes sit bored
and I sit not understanding lifes mysteries
suddenly i bounce with memories
last time i came through these lands
i was


and yet i still have so much to understand
and i instantly realise sadness is an object you carry aruond if you want to
or leave behind if you want to be free and i want to be free

now - I just need to close my eyes to lose those things and find existence
like ive been riveted into advancement

its peaceful here
and im peaceful here...

to be continued....

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -