where do I begin
I am silent from talking cuz I just want to rip my mind and thoughts out
and even tho i dont speak i can hear the clanging of devils in my head
its too noisy inside
.......................
I wanna break free, from all this pain i havei nside
from all these insecurities
even just the second i actually shut upped
I feel my words flooding in paper and not on tongue
my tongue is burning
with bad options
my heart is bleeding with others
I have no justice for what im doing
I have no memories of where im going
just flowing
against the current
and even though the future is beautiful
I am ....like an untamed monster
like a blasphemy of the innocent
there is no goodness within me
used to be unavoidable with goodness
but now theres no way birds would chirp on my shoulder
spots everwhere
on my face,
on my actions
on my sentences
on my freedom
such blots I cant even breathe
where to start cleaning
where to try living
again
so many resources plugged
freshness
cleanliness
faith
patience
patience
definity
kindness
gratitude
all plugged with sewage
of just blurting out hte first thing that comes to my mind
UUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
and the first thing is always ugly never a good circle inside me
always selfish
always mean
I am literally tired from being a mean woman
from being a hard person
from being a difficult human being
and who am i destroying with that hardship
noone but me?
for I am just tired with others
others when you think aobut it
they have won the game
for i do nothing but worry about others
about others
always talking aobut others
she did the right thing
and a dinner party to prove it
and she actually meant it
should i do a dinner party
i would have to do thousands of them
Ya ALLAh
when was the last time I said that
just so busy with everything else
just so busy with all i have to say
like its my job to filter out the bad in people
the weak in onthers
never myself
NOOO
there is nothing wrong with me
nothing bland with me
nothing dark or unflowered
all chirpy
celery LOVE it
never knew it existed
like I dont know if the woman inside me
exists no more/?
I am silent from talking cuz I just want to rip my mind and thoughts out
and even tho i dont speak i can hear the clanging of devils in my head
its too noisy inside
.......................
I wanna break free, from all this pain i havei nside
from all these insecurities
even just the second i actually shut upped
I feel my words flooding in paper and not on tongue
my tongue is burning
with bad options
my heart is bleeding with others
I have no justice for what im doing
I have no memories of where im going
just flowing
against the current
and even though the future is beautiful
I am ....like an untamed monster
like a blasphemy of the innocent
there is no goodness within me
used to be unavoidable with goodness
but now theres no way birds would chirp on my shoulder
spots everwhere
on my face,
on my actions
on my sentences
on my freedom
such blots I cant even breathe
where to start cleaning
where to try living
again
so many resources plugged
freshness
cleanliness
faith
patience
patience
definity
kindness
gratitude
all plugged with sewage
of just blurting out hte first thing that comes to my mind
UUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
and the first thing is always ugly never a good circle inside me
always selfish
always mean
I am literally tired from being a mean woman
from being a hard person
from being a difficult human being
and who am i destroying with that hardship
noone but me?
for I am just tired with others
others when you think aobut it
they have won the game
for i do nothing but worry about others
about others
always talking aobut others
she did the right thing
and a dinner party to prove it
and she actually meant it
should i do a dinner party
i would have to do thousands of them
Ya ALLAh
when was the last time I said that
just so busy with everything else
just so busy with all i have to say
like its my job to filter out the bad in people
the weak in onthers
never myself
NOOO
there is nothing wrong with me
nothing bland with me
nothing dark or unflowered
all chirpy
celery LOVE it
never knew it existed
like I dont know if the woman inside me
exists no more/?
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