Friday, May 16, 2014

fix your heart and......

fix your heart and then you can start
to look at the sunshine blooming out of the dark
to search for the heat amongst aspark
you need to clean that oil of blackness and withdrawal
from being a kind and sweet human being ...simply
your heart needs a polish needs a finish from
all these threads hanging on it
, all these mistakes and viscious cycle of negativity
palm trees
does it need more or less to figure out that life is great
that no matter where you are its you that happiness sprouts from
not from weather or no other human being
ask yourself did you not feel wrong when you were in other places
was there not always a black cloud somewhere whenever you lifted your head high
is it r eally the hot sun or is it your lack of faith burning through
ask yourself how happy are you right now>? and how much happier can you reallly be
is your sadness inflated like your economy and is your happiness degraded like a bank price
ask yourself how dark are you, how mean are you, how wild are you
how strong are you are you reall a good person
deep inside i fear weeds grow within you
i fear thorns ambush inside you
i fear you swallow pain and and speak fire
be careful hopa
be careful

...think again/////

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -