Monday, September 23, 2013

M&A13_ empty with courage

'I know I shouldn't text you,
 but my world is empty without you'

Khartoum streets like vanished memories in the sky 
that you flew on to go nearby
but it feels like millions of distance
and communication vagaries
pick out tragedies to think about
7 pounds a meaning
I listen to Capital Fm 
and wish  I could write 91.6 words to tell him how I feel

I feel that my world is empty without you
the best man in the world
sweet and kind
and I want to make you proud
small things mean big things
like you've given me responsibility 
to protect the whole of Sudan
until you come

as I stop on a red light and listen to Alicia keys
life becomes clear
this is my home town
and missing it is a piece of my heart
my faithful strength of a man I'm only luck to have close
and I am lucky to be her
although Its hard 

its dawns on me its only hard because I let it
and it only doesn't make sense because I forget it
and because of fear my eyes cannot see but a tear

when really

my life is beautiful
very beautiful
and maddeningly gorgeous
and Ive really gotten all my dreams come true

Love hope

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -