Friday, September 13, 2013

Healthy September 2

be intimate but not lacking
be strong but not damaging
be wise but not stupid
be beautiful but not fake
use things that dont use you
be the one that you want to see in this world
stop making life difficult more than it already is
stop turning your smile upside down
stop finding your smile in others sadness
stop losing your smile to the devils party

after midnight they play in your avenue
taking your precious faith
dont trust GOD! what are you doing?!
hate hate hate
better to hate so if you fail
you didnt get a broken promise
doenst matter if life doesnt mean anything
just never a broken promise

broken promises a part of your command
I dont think youve ever said a promise ...........and kept it
and now you have a hard time believing in yourself

a viscious cycle you cycle up the mountain to hide
from hard ways and amazing times

this IS an amazing time

always remember that girl.... that  you want to be become (to be continued) and if you try harder you would see you are her
you are the woman in need of life and God and faith and you are that woman kind and strong and smart and wise and you are that woman beautiful and full of

dont give your life way for free..... beautiful girl

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -