Tuesday, September 24, 2013

2 dates for lunch

I cannot function without cool air of faith
my uncle teeling me it may be dates for a while
and yet I stretch to dream about empty train stations in downtown khartoum travelling high speed to portsudan maybe 6 hours if we get delayed in algadarif
imagine ...
the beauty of sudan
tropical fruit falling of streets
people begging for you to buy their bundles
for no bundle at all
just a penny
or more
imagine sheep for eed priceless...
70 cents for a kilo
imagine sudan... the highlight of my life
the grandest africa n nation
we would have airlines that say sudan air...the grandest africa
or soemthing like that
we would have everything
and europe
it would be the mixed world
we would have education

life would be clean
just flowers all around

I cannot function without the dream in my mind
even if just a dream
i cannot function without you
Ya Allah
you are my only protector
and the protector of my family friends
I ask you be kind to us
and save us from whatever that which is harming
I ask you help my country and help us not be afraid from anything but you
ya allah

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -