Sunday, December 2, 2012


By visions of dirt around babies and people who have to buy life
like life was given at a price
God gave it for free
By visions of high speed trains that fly
fly by
country side boring but happy
fly by cities clean but busy
fly fly by
for forever I dont know
for today
Broken how I wish I could drag it all here
how I could just make it all come here
for we deserve high speed trains
and we deserve to have peace
and freedom
and healthy people
and faith that means something
not just nothing
here faith doesnt mean anything

today someone said to me
I know how to get it back from you
what you owe me
5 pounds is what i owned him
I gave him 20 but he wanted 25
but he deserved 20
I tihnk im sure

but what do I deserve
ive been praying my wohle life
and ive been hope my whole time
I dont deserve to have that kind of debt

on me
everyone asked
did you not agree?
I dont know

all I know is
I have a huge debt on me
like the debt my country has to pay to its people

its a huge price to pay
just like my lifestyle
just like my entry and slot here in my home

I tihnk it closed a long time ago
right now

I am homeless


No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -