Sunday, February 7, 2010

palace breakdown


New change in a new time, the streets fall apart for me to walk on - I try and reminisce on broken aspirations that were once golden with the future- administrating the whispers of a taken moment of love - i flew over skies in my dreams to reach you


wanting and wishing everything was right - i could cover the fantasies and the wind - i could become the angels and the satin from hind
asking for precious stones in your blood to give me away
nothing could take away the sand on my feet - from paradise bells of history



it was all history


now - i ponder upon washed palaces being built far from my mind
trembling my souls distance with time
i am supposed to live in curiosity where secrets build the walls and stairs crumble beneath me
its a wondrous palace
filled with hope and happiness and kasals of castles - the father of all
the mother of all




trust

the feeling that you will not fall where someone has you holding your hand and you trust


you trust



they will never let go



gardens blissfully grow and i imagine the sunset asking for my hand in marriage - over the top floor and in the skies across khartoum
pray for me

for in the balconies and agonies i pray for god to save us
and cherish us
unlike the fears weeding through the oceans to come squeeze me

no


somewhere, there is a ground where i can walk bare foot feeling the cold of passionate findings, for in khartoum cold is heat
there is rain for me that will touch my face with spells
there is dresses for me that will look like a romantic connection of threads
there is everything for me waiting for me to be discovered,

waiting for me to discover
my self
my body
my unfound living
to be untold by others

wrapping stars into my garage
pulling shooting stars into my war
finding the lust in the memories still unmade
i wade... in their rising
i will fade ... in their striving messsssss
flare... with their flames to burn me with stress


numbers and words
letters and saturns of lies

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -