Saturday, January 30, 2010

funeral days...

let me give you an insight into the dispensary of time
as I look out into the questions and answers i find
that the compatibility within myself is tokened by the tickets of the day

times passed and crept
into the fate of burial
into the gate of heaven

I ask time
what is behind the midnight of white
what is in front of the morning of fridays wells of tears and angels being afraid
what is coming to the three links ...the genes just lost
yet imprinted in eyes, ears and nose
smiles and bodies
running throughout yards of woven intervention of consolidating
the future

electric solitude sends messages across oceans
''I am choking''
Too many people
too many people misunderstanding everything
Too many people misunderstanding everything I ever knew

5 years, 10 years, 15
exactly 15
consequence kills
destiny drills its presence
in the quiescence of a verandas uptake of a funeral
walls swollen with screams
pillars holding evenings of dinners so women could fill their sorrow
and the same tomorrow
beds taken and faking
henna comes alive too into the unhappiness
as her hands fade into forever none
others come sparkling wedding ones

jealousy?
conspiracy?

my memories scream


1 comment:

Cupcake said...

Perfect depiction of having to go through losing someone in Sudan. I'm very sorry for your loss.

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -