Monday, February 8, 2010

you act and i act, the forces of a lie

Say something and mean something else
be someone and try something new
love someone but have others
love others and keep drawing
lie a little and ignore the meaning
meaning you lie to keep living
lie to yourself and think invincible
lie a little more , your ways are invisible
go now and call me
call me everyday and I will call you
at a number i never knew
i never knew you
until yesterday and the day before the
day today
I thought it was all a lie
like how i live my life
but its so real so real i obey the lie
white lies, dark lies, purple lies
all lies
harbour in me for i have asked
and searched and found
your lie devils the right
your lie withers the flowers
your lie breaks my heart
your lie knocks me to the ground
your lie makes me forget how to live
your lie changes everything
until yesterday, the day before
the day today
will i live like this everyday
living in your lie
living in my lie
living in a lie
living with all these lies
how many lies will i have to bare
how many lies will i have to not share
how many lies until i change me
for you have changed me
i act like nothing has happened
i talk like nothing like has happened
like nothing has happened at all

1 comment:

Cupcake said...

Loving the new layout :)

I cannot even begin to tell you how much I love this poem. So sincere, so honest, very well constructed and flows like a Sudanese breath :)

Keep it up.

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -