Sunday, December 6, 2009

Time is Precious

WOW!
I have so much to say so I better say it before i forget and regret not saying it
Today I know that time is precious
and so because of that I am never going to waste time again
when i think about all the time I used and abused
it makes me sad - and mad
because its embarassing really
to know I have wasted such a precious gift given to me
by god who truly loves me
time is precious
and time will tell
I cannot speed time
I will never know whats happening if its not time
time is precious
if anything makes me angry with myself
its not using time correctly
its... forgetting how god gave us time
how god is responsible for your time
time is precious
and its very hard to take it back
let me rephrase that
you cannot take time back
so its time to change the way you treat time
its time to really become that person you want
its time to forget and let heal
and dont waste time ever again being sad
or lonely or afraid
or angry
or fearing... about that time in the future that you just dont know
its time to change
not again
becasue I never have thought like this
time is precious
time is young
but can get old so quickly
time is fast
so i must be faster
time is
a gift
that I have thrown away
time must be mine

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -