shooting stars a long time ago
Let me tell you something -never -have i ever -been a size 10 in my whole life
I remember laying in the garden of altayif suburban khartoum - bewildered with bewilderment - lying on the corner of my sweet fantasies that had begun - just a few days ago - still immature love growing in my veins - - flowers sweating with the nightly air - I threw the sheets of my skin, for i was hot with my new aspirations and imaginations bendingwith the savana of the streets blowing the predispostions of handsome future ...life
Listen to the sky - my grandmother sleeping sevenly times awaiting the azans of tommorow - I was still superficially engrossed in the whispers of african bliss in tonight's romance - i was young - encapsulated by the silence of glitter above my bed -i was struck by desire to grow, passion to melt into arms of golden love, love to find - my loveand then it came - a shooting star that ran across my heart - passing through my heavenly desires and into next door- there - i didnt see myself here - - i saw myself closing my eyes when the light passed across my bed and I dreamt of what i wanted, letting it come true for I believed in you - nights of africa
What it is...
I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.
My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-
My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.
But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.
Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...
Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -
It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -
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