Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Am I?


that I didn't tell you
you exaggurated
and did not understand
i should have stayed quiet and had the upper hand
but then..I deserve
being late , being negligent, being warned
being...Spoilt
Spoilt - having the character or disposition harmed by pampering or oversolicitous attention
Am I spoilt?
I always say I am not spoilt
they ask how do you know ..you are not spoilt
I say because I am independant and confident and respect Life
but my actions tale spoilism
I forget, I neglect, I lengthen my responsibilities
I am protected by shields that I do not deserve
definitely do not deserve
I am sorry
I need to pay the price
I want to take more
from the store
of good deeds
I want to take more
and buy them under youth
under fancy
under sweet candy
under lace
not problematic
not noisy
never bitter
are you ....Sent, Pardoned, Offered, Involved, Let & Tamed
Am I spoilt?
_______________________
What is spoilt
Spending too much money
spending it irrationally
personality based on showing off and arrogance
just that
or can it be simply that people think you are
I don't want to be called spoilt
I dont want to be spoilt
I really dont

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -