Monday, April 25, 2016

re: everything about me

you have to throw this waste away
if you feel better , then you feel better
if you feel bad, you have to realise a lot of it is in your head
if you feel lazy you have to remember all the energy that got you here in the first place
if you feel down, you have to remember how long youve been waiting for this moment
if you feel helpless , remember you are helpless
except to pray
if you feel weird, then try compile a new system to feel
if you feel impatient, then remember the time will pass either way
and remember fanta
theres just no need to be impatient
remember the trust in the way the world works
if you feel sick, remember the deaths of others due to their sickness
if you feel wicked , remember the angels around you and within you
if you feel tormented with fear, remember their is no fear greater than allah
if you feel lost, remember how you can find yourself
if you feel taken by life and swirling in difficulty, remember a new experience will always be hard
dont make it harder than it already is
dont make it difficult for yourself
dont make it strange for yourself
dont make it a horrible experience
dont make it a broken experience
dont write your own fate
let it be written for you

..... and live 

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What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -