Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Dear allah ... Thank you for today , for this, for now

Here i am
In a balcony almost unbelieving of my gratitude
From the simple silence that hosts the miracle of a 4.07 am balcony
Where u will never find this peace here like this
A miracle
I let the cool wind embrace me 
Another kindness
And the stuff that came
Another prayer answered
And 40 days in 
Another day counted as a blessing
For here i am 
Under the umbrella of allahs giving 
And yet
Am a nervous wreck
My head hurting my body trembling
My mind a cold sweat
Diseased with worry

But this balcony saves the day
Sways the night
And heals me
For my body doesnt need this right now
No it doesnt need this stress
Rather it needs to be reminded how glorious it is
How wondrous it is
How amazing its doing
And im expexting from it only what allah desires
Ya allah help me reach whrre i yearn
Let it my time 
Let it come and relax me
Help me and protect me
Mainly frommyself
For i kno u wil only give me what i cam handle

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -