Saturday, October 3, 2015

battery dead

Sometime Allah doesnt change your situation because hes trying to change your heart that solid
internal blip of beating that is a rythmic fearful proud and unpure - strong brave courageous , wild, untamed
but useless
the beats mesmerising in despair
the sound breaking in its own travels
the echoes reaching nowhere
that heart
shouting to be saved
crying to be changed
moving in the wrong direction
do you remember all that youve done
do you think its enough?
how far would your battery go?
how far would your battery live?
have you ever recharged it
unleaded or diesel?
heavy or light?

have you ever realised that God is trying to heal your heart
trying t tell you something
trying o being you closer
trying to help you
but you just dont want any helping do you?
you just want what you want
everything to fall into place
when your jigsaw puzzles are a thousand miles apart
look at you
youre fearless
but that nots completely good
your challenging
and thats not completely proud
your young
and thats not completely forever
your mistaken
and that seems to be going on always

think about it
do you deserve what you want?

to be continued

think about it
when was the last time you really studied
no wonder there is no acceptance
you are just not ready and Allah knows
dont fool yourself
your batery

has died 

No comments:

What it is...

I see Life like a rose in the ice... beautiful but with cold settings - There are so many incredible things out there - but we always need to fight and perservere against the hardships too... otherwise the cold will win ... and we will wither away.

My imagination has led me to believe in something called 'Sudan Fairytale' -
The fantasy that My country will one day be independant and proud, never selfsish to provide its people with its needs, give freedom and success to all, be forever committed to achieve a prosperous inhabitance to every Sudanese in their own country-

My eyes fail me and I see the truth which I call - 'Khartoum Heartbreak' - This is a theme running through the blog under the 'Khartoum Heartbreak' Poems and whatever else about Sudan conveying broken down love, poor streets and cut off electricity along with a lot of other decays and problems in Khartoum city Life.

But I love my country and so I have no choice but to merge the Pain and the Love as one.

Faith is my heart and I could never do without it hoping in my prayers that I can be someone better always and that God forgives me as I fall in Mistakes through that frozen path of Life...

Sometimes I feel under control with all the too many emotions that run to colour my days and nights - Books, movies, music, dreams, friends, family, strangers, travel, - reality - the 10 O' Clock news -Most of the time I'm very Lost in trying to understand - whatever happens becomes tangled into writing this confusing memoir -

It's a really odd combination of air - not sure whether it is refreshing or suffocating - stabilising or maddening - But I breathe and
so it is
'Memoirs of a Sudanese breath' as I am 'Lost but under control' -